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Matchmaking in Middle Class India

By Naman Ramachandran. Netflix launched in India in , and homegrown commissions became available from in a market that thrives on local fare. They were replaced eventually by Monika Shergill in , who joined existing director of originals Srishti Behl Arya. The same year, the Los Angeles-based Mundhra pitched her idea for an Indian dating show with a global-facing matchmaker to Netflix in the U.

Over in India, Netflix — trailing behind turbocharged local streamers and global rival Amazon Prime Video — was trying to grow its customer base by trialling cheap subscriptions.

From reinforcing stereotypes to sarcasm, Sima Taparia aka Sima aunty has done it all on the popular Netflix show ‘Indian Matchmaking‘.

Two weeks ago Netflix debuted Indian Matchmaking , an eight-episode documentary series that follows Sima Taparia a matchmaker from Mumbai on her quest to find the perfect partner for a mix of South Asian people, both in India and in the U. While entertaining in parts, the show proved to be pretty triggering in a lot of ways. As a first-generation Indian girl who grew up in the U. Anaa: Oh my God. All the time, are you kidding me? Do you know anyone?

Have you met someone? Anaa: I feel Indian Matchmaking has showcased how transactionally marriage is viewed. For me, marriage is just something that… When it happens, it happens. Jasmin: Have you had that conversation with your family? That this is your viewpoint on it? Anaa: A lot, my family is very understanding of that. And even, we can take a look at what-was-his-name?

Why Wasn’t Netflix India Involved in ‘Indian Matchmaking’?

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Series following contestants hoping to be chosen for arranged marriage has divided opinion in India. Hannah Ellis-Petersen South Asia.

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When Indian Matchmaking aired on Netflix, the Internet immediately On the show, Pradhyuman was depicted as the South Bombay man who.

I can give her…95 marks out of It is reflective, sometimes painfully, of a custom with which we are all too familiar: arranged marriages. For desis, either your parents were arranged or you know a couple that was. Some people—yep, even millennials—willingly enter into arranged marriages, as seen on the new reality show. While the show portrays arranged marriages in a positive although at times, vulnerable light, it simultaneously showcases the problems plaguing the ancient tradition—problems that Netflix account holders across America were quick to point out.

The casual, rampant racism on IndianMatchmaking is wild, and I fear fair will fly right over the heads of all the white people watching. The super-popular show has garnered criticism for its messages of colorism , classism, and body-shaming. I mean, take your pick. So why are brown people, like myself, forced to answer for a cultural institution I played no part in creating?

The uncomfortable truth is that while these shows perpetuate equally harmful ideas about love and marriage, Indian Matchmaking confirms biases against Indian cultures, making it easier to criticize. No one looks at Western reality shows as representative of white, American dating culture.

Single to Shaadi offers curated matches for South Asian Singles

These are just some of the things several South Asian women say they have been told by their families and matchmakers who have tried to arrange their marriage with a series of prospective suitors. Religion, caste, and class compatibility are often given importance within the practice. It is challenging, and likely impossible, to condense and critically evaluate how arranged marriages work across the South Asian subcontinent within the format of one article or TV show.

One of the major drawbacks of Indian Matchmaking, critics say, is that it focuses on matchmaking within the selective bubble of mostly wealthy, upper-caste North Indian Hindus, and uncritically normalizes many aspects of a deeply complex system.

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Her passive-aggressiveness aside, the looks of quiet judgement have made her a meme star and the series a hit. Most Pakistanis are familiar with the trolley routine where a girl brings tea for a prospective groom and his family, but that is not what happens on this show. Instead, the couples are shown bio-datas and asked to go on dates at restaurants and other public places to see if there is enough connection to take the matter further. While this may seem more open than the more chaperoned Pakistani style of matrimony, the family control and sky-high expectations are strikingly similar.

One of Taparia’s clients is a Houston-based lawyer named Aparna, who comes across as a perfectionist, one who needs her life partner to know that the country of Bolivia has salt flats because she is fond of travelling. Meanwhile Akshay, a traditional young man from a wealthy family who wants someone just like his mother —has turned down over 70 young women on the basis of their photographs alone— is not so thoroughly examined. For many, though Indian Matchmaking has opened up a space for discussion and introspection, but finding a spouse is too often reduced to a stark algorithm of materialistic requirements.

But men do not escape judgment entirely in this show either; another wealthy young bachelor is Pradhyuman, a jewellery designer from Mumbai, who has rejected even more young women, plus at last count who also faced criticism. His self-absorption and lack of connectivity with any of the women he was matched with was pretty evident. Similarly, Akshay may not have been criticised by Taparia but many on social media pointed out he was very immature and incapable of thinking independently of his mother.

On the other end of the spectrum, we saw the more flexible Nadia, who despite her friendly, sweet personality and ability to like every person she was matched with was still unable to find commitment. So, despite the veneer of modernity, the tradition of different standards for men and women and all the ancient prejudices end up being reinforced on the show.

I will repeat the word wedding because the show had very little to do with marriage, which is a commitment to make a life with someone. Very few people are waiting to watch a series about sensible people making wise, moderate decisions, constantly agreeing with each other.

Indian Matchmaking: Netflix’s ‘divisive’ dating show causes storm

Now available to stream, the series follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia as she painstakingly works with singles and their families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage. One client, New Jersey-based event planner Nadia, wonders if her Indian-ness will come into question because of her Guyanese heritage.

With the global reach of Netflix, Mundhra saw an opportunity to present a look at dating and relationships through the very specific lens of the South Asian experience that would reach a wide audience. That we have all sorts of different backgrounds, different ideals and ideologies. I think you can sort of learn a lot just from the examples and the specific journey of the participants.

Mundhra ultimately met her now-husband in graduate school.

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Unless You’re Brown, ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is Not Yours to Criticize

This book is an extensive and thorough exploration of the ways in which the middle class in India select their spouse. Using the prism of matchmaking, this book critically unpacks the concept of the ‘modern’ and traces the importance of moralities and values in the making of middle class identities, by bringing to the fore intersections and dynamics of caste, class, gender, and neoliberalism. The author discusses a range of issues: romantic relationships among youth, use of online technology and of professional services like matrimonial agencies and detective agencies, encounters of love and heartbreak, impact of experiences of pain and humiliation on spouse-selection, and the involvement of family in matchmaking.

Based on this comprehensive account, she elucidates how the categories of ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ marriages fall short of explaining, in its entirety and essence, the contemporary process of spouse-selection in urban India.

Right at the beginning of the Netflix hit show Indian Matchmaking, As Aparna says, “There is a collective feminine South Asian voice that is.

But we improvised — we had weddings. It was a stage production, a moment when family, ritual, food and culture coalesced. As a little queer boy, I was enamored by the performance of it all. I watched from behind the curtains as entire productions came togethe r writes Gabriel Hoosain Khan. But with any good stage production it takes the right cast.

In the Indian Muslim culture in which I grew up in Joburg the ritual begins with finding the right match. The Netflix series Indian Matchmaking has inspired a flurry of conversations about the rituals of finding a life partner in Indian cultures. I really feel the awkwardness of those family meetups. But the series has also shone a light on parts of this ritual that remain buried in euphemisms. It is a way to refer to someone who is fat, who speaks their mind, who has dared to live in a body that does not meet the hetronormative standard of beauty.

More so, marrying across race is an even bigger no-no. When it does happen, casteism and colorism morphs into racism.

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Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking is a buzzy new reality TV series about the Catholic “biodata” from Southern India, disqualifying a first date.

The Netflix hit “Indian Matchmaking” has stirred up conversations about issues like parental preference in marriage, cultural progress, casteism — and ghosting. Taparia answered questions via email from Mumbai, discussing why none of the matches worked out, her own arranged marriage and how business is booming despite the coronavirus pandemic.

Sima Taparia: They are not separate things. Matchmaking is just a tool to help people find a life partner. In India, the process also often involves parents. Has the show generated new interest in matchmaking with more people wanting to do it?

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